Tyler Durden's Fight Club Blog

A few might be frustrating, but we can see the common sense behind them. Then there’s the handful that seem inexplicable, archaic, ones we didn’t even know existed or we’ve been misinterpreting all along.

Here are 12 road rules that might surprise you. Knowing them may just save you a fine or demerit points when a traffic officer with time on their hands decides they simply don’t like the cut of your jib.

On your own and just need to dash into the store for a loaf of bread or litre of milk?

Move more than three metres away from your unlocked car — or leave a window slightly down — and you’ve committed an offence.

Two offences, if you’ve also left the keys in the ignition.

We all know by now that using a hand held mobile phone while driving is illegal. You can only use a mobile while driving if it sits in a commercially designed cradle fixed your car or operated by Bluetooth technology or voice activation.

Unless you’re a P-plater. Since December last year, mobile phone use is illegal full stop for provisional license holders.

Which will make them much less of a liability on the road as they try to keep calm while constantly getting lost, not receiving electronic warnings when approaching school zones and even, OMG!, balancing mum or dad’s old street directory on their lap.

What most people probably don’t know is that even having a mobile phone on your lap and not using it is an offence.

And if you think catching up on Facebook, emails and texts while sitting in the drive-through queue for a burger is a productive way of using dead time, think again. That drive-through at Maccas is also considered a road, so the same rules apply.

A friendly wave out the window or a short cheerful toot on the horn is a pretty standard Aussie ritual when it comes to departing salutations.

Don’t do it. You have inappropriately used you car’s warning device. And if your hand is outside the window you have committed the crime of limb protrude.

Some of us are convinced that all other drivers on the road are miraculously gifted with ESP the moment they approach a roundabout.

Indicators must be used when turning left, right or making a U-turn, but not of course if you are driving straight through.

But how many of us know that no matter if you’re turning, left, right, chucking a U or going straight ahead, the driver must always indicate left as they are leaving the roundabout — to hammer home the point they are indeed intending to exit forthwith.

Absolutely. But if that involves you creeping over the stop line at an intersection to let that ambulance through, you will still activate the red light camera. Your protests will fall on the collective deaf ears of the State Debt Recovery Office. You have still technically ‘run’ a red light.

Yes, if you’re a Sunday driver and want to avoid the ire of other drivers, stick to the left lane on roads with a speed limit of more than 80km/h. But if you are still getting rude honks from the cars behind, then it may be the case you are driving dangerously slow, consequently causing unnecessary frustration and, quite possibly, an ‘obstruction’ — an offence that carries a $253 fine and 4 demerit points.

Drive down any highway in Sydney however, and you’d be forgiven for believing the sign ‘Keep Left Unless Overtaking’ is just one of those things one must ignore.

If you see this sign, technically there should be no vehicles travelling in the far right hand lane whatsoever, unless they are in the mid-act of overtaking a specific vehicle. Yeah, right.

If you’re one of those jerks who get their kicks splashing water on pedestrians clutching umbrellas as you speed past in torrential rain, go for it.

There’s no law against being an a**hole.

But splash mud on a bystander who is waiting for a bus, you’re gonna pay for it.

They may be nursing a hangover, regretting the dodgy kebab they consumed earlier, or just dog tired from dealing with kids; whatever you do don’t express empathy for your passenger by offering to recline their seat to take a power nap. Chances are, a body reclining in the front passenger seat will no longer be wearing their seatbelt correctly, as it must fit across the torso tightly. Apparently it’s as bad as not wearing one at all, and if your passenger is under 16 (and hopefully not nursing a hangover) you’ll cop 3 demerit points as well as a fine.

In NSW children between four and seven years old are prohibited from sitting in the front seat unless you’re doing the Saturday kids’ footy run or your birth control has failed.

All the back seats — including those extra ones you see in flash 4WDs — must be filled with under-seven-year-olds before one is allowed in the front.

Under the age of four, it is compulsory of course that your little one is secured in an Australian Standards approved child restraint or baby capsule — always anchored to a back seat of your car.

Unless you drive a Porsche Cayman S, Ferrari 488GTB, or any other expensive two-seater sports car. Then it’s OK.

Sure, the next time the car is vacuumed, that growing mound of parking tickets gathering dust on the left side of the dashboard will go. That’s if you are not fined first for displaying more than three.

If you have a vehicle entitled to use the loading zone, displaying any ticket other than the one you have just purchased will attract a fine.

We all know you can’t drive an unregistered car, but did you know it is also an offence to park an unregistered car on the street? Bad news for impoverished inner-city students saving up to renew the rego. The car will have to be towed back to skulk in parents’ garage until the funds are raised.

And finally, on another paperwork matter, it is also an offence to fail to notify the Roads and Maritime Authority when you move house.

That’s so they know where to send the infringement notices when you have broken any or all of the above.

What driver behaviour gets under your skin, yet the Government hasn’t found a way to legislate against?

Want to ban “My Family” decos from rear windows? Girlie silhouettes on semi-trailer cabins? Michael Buble CDs in a partner’s glovebox?

Send us your suggestions ...